How to Live Authentically: 4 Steps to Align With Your True Self

by Aimer |

Abstract illustration representing authentic living and personal growth
Authenticity starts with listening to your inner signals.

Living authentically means knowing who you are at your core, honoring your feelings, and acting on them without guilt or fear. It’s about following what excites you until you discover genuine fulfillment. Unfortunately, many people drift into a conditioned life—making choices to avoid rejection, please others, or fit in. Over time, this disconnection from the self can lead to stress, burnout, unhappiness, and even physical health issues.

Why Living Authentically Matters

According to trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, humans have two fundamental needs: attachment (our bond with others) and authenticity (our connection to ourselves). When authenticity is repeatedly sacrificed for attachment, we suppress our emotions. This suppression increases stress, weakens resilience, and contributes to physical illness—making authentic living essential for overall well-being.

Research supports this. In 2008, psychologist Alex Wood and colleagues developed the Authenticity Scale. Their findings showed that authentic living is linked to higher self-esteem, life satisfaction, and positive emotions, while self-alienation (living out of alignment with your true self) strongly predicts depression, anxiety, and emotional distress.

Diagram illustrating authenticity and alignment
Authenticity supports mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

4 Practical Steps to Live Authentically

1. Notice Your Emotions in the Body

Emotions often appear as physical sensations before we can label them. For example:

  • Happiness and love → lightness in the chest and head
  • Excitement → warmth in the chest, tingling in the stomach, energy in the legs
  • Fear → chest tightness, stomach drop, shaky legs, cold hands or feet
  • Sadness or grief → heaviness in the chest, throat tightness, lowered energy in the limbs

By tuning into these signals, you can respond more authentically in the moment. For instance, anger often signals misalignment with your values. Instead of suppressing it, pause, let it settle, and reflect: Am I trying to control someone? Am I afraid of losing power in this situation? This awareness gives you the freedom to choose a response that feels true to you.

2. Follow Your Excitement

Excitement is a compass. It points you toward your authentic path. Instead of focusing on what drains you, pay attention to what energizes and inspires you.

Ask yourself: What excites me right now?
The answer often reveals hidden desires or values that lead to authentic living. By choosing actions that spark excitement, you naturally align with your true self.

3. Move Forward Even When Guilt Shows Up

It’s common to feel guilt or fear when breaking old patterns or pursuing what feels right. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong—it often means you’re stepping into authenticity.

A tool from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help:

  1. Identify your core value (growth, freedom, love, honesty, creativity).
  2. Name the guilt: “I notice guilt is here.”
  3. Ask: “If I acted on my value right now, what step would I take?”
  4. Take that step, even with guilt alongside you.

Example:
You value creativity, but feel guilty spending time on your art instead of being “productive.” Guilt says: “You’re selfish.”

  • You pause: “I notice guilt is here.”
  • You remind yourself: “Creativity matters to me.”
  • You ask: “What step honors creativity right now?”
  • You pick up your sketchbook and draw, letting guilt ride in the passenger seat.

4. Lead With Your Heart

Your heart contains about 40,000 neurons—sometimes called the “heart brain”—that send signals to the head via the vagus nerve. The body remembers emotional states like joy, fear, and excitement, often before the mind catches up.

Trusting this heart-centered guidance can help you live more authentically, because it bypasses overthinking and returns you to what feels real.

Authenticity Is Essential for Well-Being

Authenticity isn’t just a philosophy—it’s a health practice. By tuning into your emotions, following your excitement, facing guilt with compassion, and listening to your heart, you create a life that feels real, resilient, and uniquely yours.

Living authentically supports better mental health, deeper relationships, and a stronger sense of purpose. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

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